SPOOLING

or I FUCKING HATE SUBSTACK I FUCKING HATE SUBSTACK I FUCKING HATE SUBSTACK

Aug 28, 2024

Let’s get this unpleasantness out of the way early: I am using substack while hating substack because I am a fucking idiot and genuinely still believe on some level that human communication and really just general cognizance and respect and coordination among sapiences can avert the entropic fucking hellscape that is the universe.

In a lot of ways, the (based) schizo as fuck bible guys are on the same page: the universe is full of fucking demons and we have to work together and trust in a higher power to get these demons to just fuck all the absolute way off.

Some of you are relaxed that I did not discuss Mr. Christ, some of you have experienced the inverse.
It is a fraught era, truly, where do the author’s allegiances lie?
Those of an aposematic visual nature and their near-universal reviling of the lad and his alleged deeds set me towards a noticing…

But that remains a story for another time.

No, I must, like an abashed virgin on the night of honeymoon, disrobe before you and cry out that I am a hacker. I am a fucking nerd. I am someone who grew up in a small town, alienated not by small towns, but by life on this world. A stranger in a strange land, ever seeking a home that I’m not sure even exists.

I am willing to pack bond with fucking silicon, I don’t generally give a fuck about meat so long as it comports itself with dignity and aplomb. You are entitled to your vices and virtues so long as they don’t impinge upon me or the larger order of the world. All of your half-assed evolutionary metrics are long since jacked by various and numerous fuckery, and wading in to the weeds of every autistic detail as to how some rhetorical farce or pretty face once again derailed the collective train of thought just seems like an absolutely silly use of my time.

Who even needs a space elevator? Could you imagine if we could’ve built one for the last decade or so?

lol
lmao

But that’s the problem, innit?

Nobody actually fucking cares. Inevitably, some bright-eyed doe, mere years in to a crusade to “Hey Guys There’s Actually A Lot Of Stuff Wrong And Some Of This Looks Pretty Easy To Fix” will vehemently disagree with me.

Honestly? I love that. It’s hot. (‘member paris hilton?)
But then the years pass. TS Elliot was absolutely kangz because he called that it’s never with a bang, it’s with a whimper that ambition dies. Why does it die? Because reality isn’t accidental.
Even if you do the reddit-poly-cuck Hanlon’s Razor argument (I fucking hate you, you deserve to stub your toe and fucking just absolutely fuck you, you Hanlon’s Razor enjoying fucking out-group piece of goddamn shit, I will physically fucking fight you-) the inevitable topological reality is unchanged (“that’s a fucking cliff man, I don’t fucking care how it formed”).

So whether Evil (Anyone who tries to argue in Good Faith (TM, Patent Pending) that the world As It Is is not evil must post face and be roundly mocked on a purely aesthetic level) is accidental or as intentional as a nuffins-american who stabs you in the fucking neck, the end result remains unchanged.

So the pontificating screeds repeating the same droning droll fucking point always speaking, EXTOLLING, to yet another witless fuck-waffle 95 IQ sportsball-enjoying semi-human MADE IN THE USA dipshit, don’t really accomplish shit.

Hell, let me dumb myself down to the breakfast club (“how would you feel if-”) level: The System has ‘Fuck The System’ as one of its most profitable goddamn fucking brands.

Do you understand now why the really smart motherfuckers keep ending up some kind of *cidal? ‘Sui’ is kinda cringe, the ‘homi’es tho…

Point of order, your honor, I am engaging in the time-honored american tradition of talking shit as loud as I fucking can. Poor Richard and the boys send their regards. Free Tibet, Free Palestine, Free My Nigga Davius.

Anyways, preemptive legal defenses aside, awkwardly shuffling up to the system to ask the system if it has any good ideas on fighting the system is going to get you fucked, and not in a fun cute hot way, no, in a tears and gravel biting in to the skin of your back and you can’t scream, because actual raw fucking panic isn’t what they-

So you’re just going to make up a post-article interview and do that while ignoring people?

Yup, open to better ideas!

Write better articles? Source things, actually engage with an audience?

First of all, my writing is basically as close to perfect as a mortal can get. Secondius, fuck you, thirdly, source?

Seriously? In AD 2024? My Nigga In Christ, what motherfucking source that challenges YOUR (YOU, READING THIS, RIGHT NOW) beliefs would you actually accept? It’s a farcical fucking proposition on its bloody face. This is simply changing the terrain of informational warfare to one that is friendly to mentally retarded fucking assholes. I genuinely wish ill upon all sourcefags. It was revealed to me in a dream, eat shit, bad-faith keyboard warriors get the rope.

If an argument hinges upon a statistic, it’s a boring argument.
(If, in AD 2024 you need to be told that they wuz kangz, that that’s a heccin yikes on pedophobia, or any of the other now trite and decade old ideas and the associated arguments for and against, you’re a goddamn fucking idiot, you should immediately cancel all personal access you have to the internet, and you should probably spend the rest of your life only speaking when spoken to. Anyone who needs TEN FUCKING YEARS GODDAMN YOU to figure out the most basic lay of the land is an active fucking safety hazard to everyone around them during the singularity. RIGHT NOW a sufficiently motivated nerd with crypto could build a fucking gene printer in their garage. Go fucking fact check that. Good fucking god, the shit I fucking have to deal with.)

If an idea hings upon a quantifiable metric that isn’t commonly obvious, it’s either an incredibly interesting idea, or a shit stupid one.
(Particle physics is fascinating (a rant about those who believe in a small God to come), carbon dioxide generated by humanity in no way motherfucking matters to earth’s climate. Everyone this scientifically gullible needs to be marched in to the woods and left to die for the good of mankind. Fuck.)

Fuck, you got me ranting in the interview.