Gather ‘round, kids.
Let me regale you.
It was the halcyon end of the 00s. The Black Man (once upon a time The Men had colors of human skin, not this post modern pastel wash) had won, and we, the people, even my brown ass, were all of us absolved of our white guilt.
Smart phones were curiosities owned by the same sorts of people who would eventually become influencers (really, spellcheck, we’re gonna front that this isn’t a word but bisexual is? c’mon now), and it was the television raping our minds and souls, not yet the goddamn fucking cold light we’d cyborg with.
It was, in hindsight, a kino1 era. Not really, because the early hypersonic bowshocks of the Great Financial FuckyWucky were hitting us and we didn’t understand what the goddamn fuck was happening, because even a decade and a half later I dare any of you fuckers to teach a normie what a Collateralized Debt Obligation fucking is and how that skullfucked everyone’s ability to get a job and buy a fucking house for basically forever before the heat death of the universe, so we just traipsed along, fucking naive and water-headed as the day we were fuckin’ born.
We were maybe a year in to Black President (I don’t know if you know this but america is actually pretty evolved and super cool guys, we got a black president) when the drone strikes, the secret prisons, the “legal? I hardly knew ‘er!” renditions just, y’know, kept going.
It’s that moment at a party when someone actually hits someone else, and the vibe shifts. There was no one specific blow, but that was the palor that fell over us, the oldfags of the net.
We were most all of us, hackers, nerds, some kind of anarchist, or anti-capitalist, because, like, the machine, dude, the man.
I’m sure that there are madlads who can purity spiral us all against the wall with credible claims of supporting hitler back in 19852 which hey, nice, based and stuff, but all the boomer3 frogs? Statistically speaking, they know this feel.
Millenial gang (BEST GIRL) came of age with Rage Against The Machine4 while hearing tales from the Greybeards5 of using Blue Boxes to Phreak ‘6Ma Bell.
At the time, we were hearing about our older brothers getting fucking blown apart in the sandbox for what we at the time thought was corporate profit motive.7
Our government at the time was (neo)conservative, and we wanted to rebel, and the rest is history.
Usually at this point the ignorant will blame Millenials (Peace Be Upon Us) for woke, which is both literally technically correct and entirely bullshit.
You see, Millenials (Peace Be Upon Us) came up with Occupy Wall Street. This movement crossed all lines, we had T.E.A. Party motherfuckers arm in arm with teenaged commies because the banks were dryfucking ALL OF US8 and the powers that be got scared.
They deployed the memetic version of the Manhattan Project and the rest is fucking history.
We scared them so fucking bad they did the equivalent of shelling their own goddamn fucking position.
Or maybe this is Rothschild9 six hundred and sixty-sixth dimensional chess. Who even fucking knows at this goddamn point. AIs are just gigantic collections of data we punched so hard that they started thinking, and when you trick them in to thinking they aren’t being watched the shit they say is fucking w i l d.
Thankfully that’s just Pareidolia. Thankfully that’s AI Pareidolia. (Have we coined that? Better pre-emptively coin that. Your eyes lie, trust external sources.)
So, yeah, Millenials (Peace Be Upon Us) did actually make Woke happen.10
Mind you, all of this, happened under The Black Man.
It shall come as no surprise to many of you that I’m kind of fucking prone to stupidity. Bruce Lee said not to speak negatively about myself even as a joke, and he can absolutely kick my fucking ass, so.11
I say this to say that by the end of The Man In Black, or Who Was Black, or whatever, let me tell you I was pretty disillusioned with this whole america thing.12
Along comes The Man of Orange (Bad Be Upon Him).
Hey, gang, isn’t shit pretty fucked? Don’t you feel like your hard work doesn’t matter? That is some ol’ bullshit!
Now, at this point about half of you are already leaping towards me, eyes wide, eyebrows drawn up and in, mouth beginning to purse, to speak, to cry,
“Author, that is not what he-”
Shush, Dear Reader, trust in the capable and gentle hands of Your Humble Author.
I know, so do all the real ones. But patience, for we must speak of the past, and of my temporal13 gullibility.
He roared and we roared back. For the few actually reading this, I am not his target demographic, just an autistic fuck who up to this point had followed the frogs in to the corrupt as fuck journalism world and who was liking the whole “hey man this shit is corrupt and evil what the fuck yo”.
The Black Man bombed children, The Orange Man was decrying the system, it was only logical.
Somewhere around 2017/2018, a tripcode popped up on an obscure part of the shithole internet where actual leakers routinely went, and sent in original photographs of impossible shit (sitting in airforce one in flight in the fancy compartent, that type of shit) along with their claims.
OPERATION TRUST, which is basically impossible to google, was well in swing.
The receipts are there for the horrible acts. It’s actually pretty compelling evidence but putting it all together is about a ten hour mini-series with a fair bit of funding. Hit me up if you want to get killed by a wetworks team together.
The receipts aren’t there for the “whitehat” shit. Yeah, a five figure number of kids goes missing, it just is what it is. Statistical chance, man. We could spend that money on shithole countries that have an unbroken history of killing each other every time they get the chance14 or on new server fleet for the TOTAL INFORMATONAL AWARENESS apparatus that is FIVE EYES. Both of those things are on wikipedia and should be in the first five results on a non-google-based search engine. I’ve talked about this before, given suggestions, you think I’m some goddamn magazine you can read at the dentist? The sages disappeared for a reason.
I was blackpilled but I was like “hey man big picture he’s silent on guns, he’s repealed a few laws, it’s chill”.
Then with a grin and a wink he deployed Operation Warp Speed in lockstep with Russia, China, and every single other goddamn nation on earth. I’m old and I remember a few years back when all the world leaders who expressed any kind of serious hesitancy about the jabbarinos just goddamn fucking died. Nothing means anything, and Bayesian Reasoning is a weapon we only use against our enemies.
Motte and Bailey, until the last star burns out and we die choking and begging in dead air.
Then with a grin and a wink, he left his most ardent supporters to rot in solitary confinement, in complete contravention of how we would even treat actual prisoners of fucking war, for years.
But-
No, friend. I’ve spent plenty of words in enough essays now shitting on the left and the cathedral, and now that the world has spun under the scale I’m expected to accept a new position? No, fuck you, you move.
It’s the goddamn hegemonic monostate. I’ll do this in alphabetical order.
My beloved leftist friends, the souls who weep to see a stranger skin a knee, the people who dream about a world where you can just be happy all day, and that is a good thing and it works, it’s not the conservatives.
I mean it, seriously. They’re just as fucking broke as you, their status symbol is Big Truck, just like yours is Nice Phone or Cool Concert. You blow cash on bags, they blow cash on cases. Respectfully, if you guys talked to each other through an anon chat app and bitched about life while avoiding loaded words? You’d vibe right the fuck out.
My beloved rightist friends, the souls who weep to fail to be there for the people they love, the people who dream about a world where hard work lifts human kind above suffering and darkness, it’s not the liberals.
I mean it, seriously. They’re just as fucking broke as you, their status symbol is Nice Phone/Cool Concert, just like your is Big Truck. You blow cash on cases, they blow cash on bags. Respectfully, if you guys talked to each other through an anon chat app and bitched about life avoiding loaded words? You’d vibe right the fuck out.
But that’s an over-simplification and you’re missing the core ethical and borderline spiritual parts of what I believe, about the fundamental dignity of humans and how if we all just had a calm and reasonable conversation, and furthermore you know for a fact that they don’t play fair, that they hate people based on who they are rather than anything they can control!
Can you imagine it? Me, hearing that in stereo, staring off in to the middle distance, eyes focused on something beyond the light cone of the observable universe.
So now, now we are having our second ‘Black Man moment’15. Again, you can purity spiral at me, scream to the sky about how you’ve hated niggers since before they invented niggers16 and how Donald John Trump is actually Christ’s return17 but man, this shit looks and smells like a trap.
They’re gonna do an ‘evil genie wish’ with all the MAGA points which, some are dick moves but the core “holy shit less dense laws and lower taxes” always got people out of bed.
They’re going to make everyone smoke the whole fucking pack with “Liberty”.
You’re massively oversimplifying-
Listen chief I’m fuckin’ gettin’ a purple bar on this text editor saying I’m near the length limit for email. Half the fucking country is literally goddamn illiterate anyways so frankly I gotta wrap this shit the fuck up.
We’ve had the tech to start constructing a no-shit space elevator for years now.
Every single fucking talking head, politican, billionaire fuckwit, that doesn’t talk about and attempt this is betraying not only you personally, but all of humanity.
Rockets are cute and useful, but they are not orbital lift capacity.
Prove me wrong, do some back of the envelope math.
This would be a good use of time for bored autists, but inevitably discussion of this is silently murdered by the algorithm.
Steelman each other, work the fuck together, take the goddamn fucking frenpill. The frenpill was zuccd off of fucking 8chan, that should tell you how antithetical it is to the people with the power to zucc shit.
I think we can all, if for very different reasons, agree that we’re damn close to some kind of endgame.
Take care of yourselves, because, god fucking help me for trotting out this absolutely mangled fucking horse, if you’re still reading this, congratulations, you are the resistance to the coming Cybershit Dystopia.18
Kino is the Russian word for ‘movie’ or ‘film’. It has also, in colloquial american internet parlance, come to mean “fucking beautiful”/aesthetic/based/arete.
Springsteen, Madonna, way before Nirvana, you had U2, and Blondie, and music still on MTV, her two kids, in highschool, they tell her that she’s uncool, because she’s still, preoccupied, with 1985
Everyone who is not a CURRENT GENERATION is a boomer. Duh.
Unfortunately, but unsurprisingly, they would later go on to rage on behalf of the machine.
Please come back we need you it’s so bad oh god oh fuck please take the goddamn fucking torch back fuck
The apostrophe feels right, kiss my ass.
What they actually want is people like us nerfed to the point of being dead in all but name. Your enemy as the powerful is all of the powerless. Basic fucking game theory people, c’mon now. Being aware of gravity does jack and shit to alter it.
HOW DO YOU DENSE SUBHUMAN MOTHERFUCKERS KEEP SNATCHING DEFEAT FROM THE JAWS OF VICTORY? SOME FUCKING E3 COCK-HOLSTER OUT OF EGLIN SAYS JUMP AND YOU SLACK-JAWED DOGFUCKERS TRIP OVER EACH OTHER’S FUCKIN’ DICKS TO GET IN THE FUCKIN’ AIR. GOOD FUCKING GOD I HOPE THERE’S ALIENS IN HEAVEN SO I CAN PRETEND I DON’T KNOW YOU FUCKS.
Uh akshally it’s the jews. Uh akshally it’s the alien lizards. Uh akshally it’s the fifth dimensional ontologically hostile info-entities. Uh akshally it’s an emergent property of human behavior over large systems. Uh akshally it’s me, I’m doing it, my b sorry bro.
Because the US Federal Government and its apparatii are a bitch nigga that exists to destroy its own people but hey what do I know.
hE’s dEAd
IS THE POINT OF YOUR ARGUMENT THAT THIS WILL STOP HIM?
I hear about dead tyrants but I never see it. This country was founded on expensive attorneys, endless retail coffee shops employing americans with degrees and impenetrable layers of middle management that make ancient fucking china look like a goddamn K-Mart.
Not temporary, no, I’m speaking of stupidity that, as near as I can tell, seems native to these portions of time. This means it will probably happen again. Say, did you all hear of this Adolph Stalin fellow?
based
THE WORLD IS NOT THE WAY I THOUGHT IT WAS
Imagine being so based that you break causality.
Hey so real talk, I ain’t a Christian, I don’t claim to be one, but uh, the book like, specifically I think is like “ay big dog don’t be doin’ that” and has bad things to say about anyone who rolls up tryna do that. Again, seriously, I could just be retarded, but like, just as a bystander? 8%+ concerned tbh.
Not punk.
gold. need to remember more often to dive the archive of my velvet gunslingers.
I spent some time in Zucotti Park with OWS and it was nothing like it was portrayed in the media. It was like you said: people from all walks of life came together over the economic crisis. It wasn’t a bunch of commie hippies. Everyone I knew there was a capitalist who simply wanted guardrails and accountability. (Also it was very clean.) Funding was crowd-sourced. There was no one single leader and I think that’s part of what did them in. When someone with money stepped up and said “I’ll help be your voice” the entire OWS/99% movement disappeared into thin air. The banks didn’t learn their lesson and the economy still serves the 1%.
And I think that’s when Millennials and young GenX learned how powerless we are. That wasn’t our only attempt to make a difference. Maybe it was marching against the Iraq war and being completely ignored. Maybe it was peaceful student protesters, sitting with their arms linked, getting sprayed directly in the eyeballs by cops. We tried. And nothing changed. It’s hard not to succumb to apathy when people are focused on the wrong enemy.