REINITIALIZING
or A DEFENSE OF MARK ZUCKERBERG
Sweet mother of god this platform is massively inferior to ghost. Go look up ghost if you haven’t, young author (seriously, nobody else is here, BUT, if a circle jerk is large enough, it probably isn’t gay (best part is, statistically, you don’t know enough math to argue this with me)). Know ye the command line? Know ye the
rm -rf
Likely not, that’s okay, ghost is targeted at journos, and even they can be taught the deep magic, with enough patience.
Hand entering dividers from the header like it’s 2005 again. Nostalgic.
Oh, droll, seventy-eight quintillion pop ups and nagboxes telling me to get a friend to use substack (who the fuck has meatspace people that they could recommend fucking substack to.
“Hey mom, you wanna read about why tight pussies aren’t actually anything anyone likes and why Schopenhauer was actually kangz n shit? Also like half the time you say anything some of the smartest and dumbest fucking people you’ve ever imagined will either come vomit pure wordcel nonsense at you or crap three words and refuse to elaborate. This is fun, I think. Beats reddit anyways.”
She’d give me a look, then move on to the next subject. Nice try, the lego phase already made her aware I’m Special Autistic Neurodivergent Fucking Retarded.
If you weren’t aware, the parentheses from earlier is still open, so let’s close that now.) and telling me I can poll my audience. I think my audience is a dickpill bot and some random fellow oldfag who likely knows that feel who threw me a followback. Nobody throws it back like anons.
[Click ‘More’, wait for the dropdown, click the fucking bar-]
Okay, you’ve got like zero more seconds to bring this back to Zuckerberg. Who the fuck are you, why are you carefully avoiding the “how did you get in my house” joke and what’s your fucking point?
Whoa man, the journey, like, is the travel, and if I make this sentence just a little longer I can borderline lorem ipsum until the-
Mark Zuckerberg knows that feel. Not in the sense that he’s posted on 4chan (everyone with a certain type of soul has posted on 4chan, at least when it comes to people who matter, and zucky-wucky has one of those soul types) but in the sense that he’s someone who would’ve snort-laughed at lil bobby tables when he first saw it:
[Holy fucking shit why do I have add an image like I’m filing an insurance claim in 2011 what the fuck is goddamn substack doing fucking-]
It really is worth noting here, inside the fourth wall, that seriously, substack’s editor is sub-par. Visual monotony is the realm of retards and masochists.
Mark is someone who, as a teenager, knew how to select statements from an SQL table, what a double NAT was (GODDAMN YOU IANA AND IETF YOU WEAK SONS OF BITCHES ‘TEMPORARY FIX’ MY ABSOLUTE-) and what “privacy” meant in the halcyon early years of Da Innanets.
I argue that his infamous “they trust me for some reason. dumb fucks” needs to stop being interpreted in the light of the most gormless fucking normies. Trusting ANYONE with your fucking data is genuinely fucking stupid. We live in the era of neural nets that can read cancer from fucking x-rays (probably witchcraft or w/e idk lol) and the idea of giving ANYONE ANY large data set of your own should TERRIFY you.
Wait till they train an AI that knows the perfect time to interrupt you in the middle of a thought.
Oh, you thought TOTAL INFORMATIONAL AWARENESS was a fucking joke or exaggeration?
Lawdy lawdy.
Now, I could rant for hours without repeating myself about how thought stifling substack’s reddit-tier WYSIWYG editor is, but obviously structure of language and expression has no bearing on thought, and thought has no bearing on mind, and EDIT: THANKS FOR THE GOLD KIND STRANGER!
So yeah, that’s the absolute state of things as they are.
Mark Zuckerberg was fucking right, everyone who trusted him, and anyone else, was a dumb fuck (me too!) and then, god bless his everlovin’ heart, he listened to his gormless normie PR team, in the 00s, god bless, everlovin’, etc. right on the cutting cusp of the first retrocausal bowshocks of the fucking singularity.
Fast forwards a few years.
Mark’s balls deep in the sunk-cost fallacy, surrounded by gormless normies trying to teach him how to love big brother like they do, and all the while this man sees a world full of people who he knows are false, because he’s seen their deepest secrets-
My deepest apologies to the tik-tok-americans amongst’d’ve you, but, we must digress further, at this particular point in time, not to satiate any basal desire of loquacity, but instead to pontificate upon the nature of hackers. There are two types of hackers:
1) The hackers who run your entire universe and will be honest that they could, and have, now and then trawl your deepest darkest secrets, but that they genuinely don’t care, because those who come from the actual depths have seen every possible depravity and/or combination of human psycho-socio-sexual degeneracy, and really as long as it doesn’t involve kids who even fucking cares, just act like a normal fucking person and don’t ever try to talk to me about it, and honestly at this point I’m just down to do whatever the other wants, as I’m nearly inured to human sexual behavior. All of you, me included, disgust me and god is right to not sully himself with us.
2) The hackers that do not exist, or alternatively are just getting started. Either way, as t→(inf) y→0
[Click ‘More’, bar, fuck-]
-and he knows that that, their id, their unintegrated shadow, demons riding them like horses, who fucking knows, isn’t what they present, and isn’t even something they’re aware of.
The world knows him, and it hates him. This bothers Mark, because he hated the world first. Smart kid with rich normie parents? Going to Harvard as a fuckin’ youngin’?
What hell.
What alienation.
Weep for the lad, if you have any heart.
Time passes, the Orange Man (Bad Be Upon Him) happens, he is hauled in front of congress, his carefully crafted image of seriously guys I like all this stuff, I’m a person shatters with his booster seat and introduction to water.
Again, I am sympathetic. This is a man who fucking hates normies, who’s had the fucking intel community up his ass since roughly after puberty, and who has had no real choice but to ride herd on a project that intimately connects him to the follies of a large mass of some of the dumberest people on the fucking oblate spheroid we call home.
Your Humble Author once again must humbly beg pardon for the merest, most trivial of abrupt and entirely succinct digressions to add clarity of purpose and intent, namely to say that were there indeed large groups of people whose professional concern primarily oriented around ascertaining sentiment and engaging in narrative engineering, would it not suffice the purpose to create the most violent ruptures in the lowest layers of the common social informational weft?
In a brighter world, such things would serve as fertile ground to grow an orchard of lively discussion around a motte utterly beyond reproach, but alas, Your Humble Author is indeed but a deranged person of notable mental deficit.
Think about what it means to run the informational machine that knows when its users are shitting.
Actually fucking think about it. Imagine what that would do to someone who, as a True Scottsman Hacker, is already going to err on the side of misanthropy if only from cultural osmosis. (This is what made Ed a novel character in cowboy bebop, she was a happy hacker.)
Shit, fuck you idiots who do this fuck-fuck circus of VERY POORLY IMPLEMENTED TEXT EDITOR NONSENSE for money (but hey fuck you pay me), I’ll go there (I believe the kids call this ‘mogging’): If anyone knows the truth about kids getting dicked down in secret CIA tunnels or whatever the fuck, it’s definitely the guy who runs the informational machine that was one of the founding partners in Total Informational Awareness.
That’s the context, then combine a PR team intent on teaching a nerd how to be a fucking meisner actor, and you get what you see: a man about to have a panic attack trying to remember how to look normal while just taking a fucking sip of water.
Genuinely evokes sympathy.
These days, DAT BOY looks calm, moisturized, unbothered, in his lane, flourishing.
Why?
Because it’s the fucking singularity and the nerds are finally rolling out their plan to kill most of us.
You can’t just end it here.
Can and will, and can we just agree that a double return REQUIRING reddit-spacing between call and response is just asinine?
Immaterial to the point at hand, you’re overly-online and use meta-humor to avoid the topic at hand while feigning deep insight.
So you’re saying I accurately simulate deep understanding, which appears to be deep understanding, but do not actually have deep understanding, which would also appear to be deep understanding?
Exactly!
Well certainly such hairs exist to be split! If you’ll indulge me leaving the map to speak to the territory, we find that certain modes of thought-terminating cliche exist with enough domain coverage to require entirely novel (heh, amirite? stfu already) methods of informational-space vector approach to avoid stimulating current arrangements which could be crudely called informational-space strategic and tactical defenses. Unfortunately, such complex topologies require a lot of what could be colloquially called ‘brain wrinkles’, to make it entirely basal, without the knowledge of how one would feel if one did not eat breakfast, such a SYN can receive no ACK.
Hehe did you see this meme?
Yeah, me too buddy, me too :)
Post Script: When I built this house, all of this was undeveloped land. I do not know or care who the fuck you people are, but I will block anyone who deploys any midwit wordcel formalism nonsense. Get a fucking job you goddamn fucking hippies.
this reminds me of 2006 internet and I mean that in the best way